Famed British Sleuth Says James Comey’s Testimony is ‘More Full of Misdirections and Sleights of Hand than a Circus Conjuror’ LONDON – Sherlock Holmes, the celebrated Victorian private eye, emerged from the shadows of literary history last night to repeat his famous question, “Why didn’t the watchdog bark?” Interviewed via GoogleSeance satellite by Rachel Maddow, the famous detective said that the FBI’s failure to investigate President Trump “is directly analogous to the case of the…
"Sherlock Holmes Asks: Why Didn’t the FBI Watchdog Bark?"Category: Satirical News
“L’idiot needs to be stirred, not shaken. I will show le monde how to do it.” – Emmanuel Macron PARIS – Emmanuel Macron, the recently elected president of France, has announced a new international training program called The Seven Effective Hand-Shaking Habits of Highly Successful People Who Must Deal with Trump. “Trump’s trademark hold-and-tug handshake is his favorite power move,” Macron said. “But like 007’s martini, he must be stirred, not shaken.” Emmanuel Macron demonstrates Le Grippe…
"To Deal with Trump, Macron Offers to Conduct “Vulcan Death Grip” Hand-Shake Seminars for World Leaders" ‘Hitler was so ready to work it out and avoid World War II the Second, and then that bad (sick) guy Churchill blew it’ – Donald Trump Michael Egan WASHINGTON DC – President Donald J. Trump today blamed Sir Winston Churchill for not honoring Neville Chamberlain’s “historic peace agreement” at Munich in 1938, thus causing World War II. Sir Neville Chamberlain waves the Munich Agreement in 1938 “Mr Chamberlain, the British Prime Minister, offered his people “a…
"Trump Says that Like Andrew Jackson, Neville Chamberlain ‘Had the Right Idea at Munich in 1938’"
“Restricting extraneous Freedoms of Press, Religion and Speech, and establishing Christianity as the State Religion are also ‘Alt-Word’ permitted,” said Conway. NYC – Motormouth propagandist Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s ministress of misinformation, said today that “alternative words” in the Bill of Rights “clearly permit Congress to impose legal restrictions on an unpatriotic and out-of-control lugenpresse.” Asked to cite the actual language allowing Congress to restrict press and religious liberty, Ms Conway laughed merrily. “Freedom is in…
"Kellyanne Conway: ‘Alternative Words’ in Bill of Rights Allow Trump ‘Lots of Latitude’"
Trump and GOP ‘Welcome Putin and Russia’s enthusiastic support, when so many unpatriotic Americans will not stand with our President!’ NYC – The Trump Inauguration Committee “proudly” announced today that the vast number of empty seats at their candidate’s swearing-in ceremony will be “graciously filled” by Russian President Vladimir Putin “and two million of his very best military friends.” Several fly-overs by the Russian air force have been scheduled, together with a spectacular parachute jump…
"Putin to Attend Trump Inaugural, Accompanied by Two Million Troops, the Russian Air Force and 17 Squadrons of Tanks and Armored Carriers"
‘She just loves having her pussy grabbed by the President-Erect!’ Ivanka wept, referring to Donald’s new housemate, Pam Bondi. ‘It’s not fair! Waah!’ NYC – First Lady-Elect Princess Ivanka Trump burst into tears today after learning that knockout Florida “sex bomb,” Pam Bondi, would be her daddy’s new White House “companion.” Ms Bondi is the Florida attorney-general who accepted a bribe from her new boyfriend to squash a case about Trump University. As usual, the…
"Princess Ivanka ‘Furious’ About Pam Bondi’s White House Appointment"